Stupid Cupid
by seditionary
Summary: Hotch is straight, Reid knows that. He loves him enough to want him to be happy. Sometimes, Cupid just needs a little push. Hotch/Reid slash, some language, meddling!Rossi. Way fluffy. Don't forget CM Profiler's Choice Awards!


**A/N: I wrote this in part to spread the word about the Profiler's Choice 2011 Fanfic Awards for the Criminal Minds Community. Please send in your nominations-it's easy! Here's the info:**

**Hosted by ilovetvalot and tonnie2001969.**

**"It is our pleasure to announce the Second Annual Profiler's Choice Fanfic Awards for the Criminal Minds community!**

**The nomination ballot is now available, and all rules are posted on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum! Nomination ballots must be received by October 15, 2011 and must be sent to this PM at Profiler's Choice CM Awards. Fics for consideration must have appeared on the CM section of between September 1, 2010 and August 31, 2011 (see rules for full details.)**

**Please read all rules prior to submitting ballots! Please PM at Profiler's Choice CM Awards with any questions."  
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**Yeah! **

**Now, as to the story-this is MAJORLY FLUFFY and kind of silly. No warnings other than a bit of language.**

** Hope you like it! Pleeeeze review!  
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**Seds  
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><p><em>I thought being a genius was supposed to be a good thing. <em>

Spencer Reid sighed and made a perfunctory effort to pay attention to what Hotch was saying as he stood at the board, pointing at photographs from their latest case.

_But, clearly, there are times when it's just plain dangerous..._

Being able to read 20,000 words a minute meant Reid had already read every bit of written documentation they had in the case file. Having an eidetic memory meant he already had every piece of visual evidence stored and organized in his mind. And, being a genius meant that he already knew that they just didn't have enough to go on, and that all they were doing at the moment was getting the other team members up to speed.

Which left Reid with ample time to study Hotch's ass.

His reaction to which, he was afraid, would be evident on his face.

He dropped his eyes and glumly doodled on his note pad until the flare of wanton lust had passed enough for him to be able to look up again and still retain an air of professional detachment. Hotch was now outlining their plan of action.

"All right. So, Garcia, you'll check the rest of the call histories, and Dave and Prentiss will interview the night watchman. The rest of you, chill until we get more information. I'll let you know the minute we have something."

Everyone stood and began filing out, headed for their assignments or back to their desks. Reid was sliding his messenger bag over his shoulder when he heard Hotch clear his throat.

"Reid? I need to speak with you."

Rossi was the last one out, and he had a slight smirk on his face as he closed the door behind him. Reid took note of that and felt a stab of apprehension. Oh, God, had he been that obvious? Did Rossi know? Did _Hotch_ know? He thought he'd dissolve into a puddle of horrendously embarrassed goo if he had to listen to Hotch explain to him that he needed to keep his mind on his work and not on his boss's heterosexual rear end. He gave Hotch a puzzled look, and sat back down in his chair.

"Is there a problem? Did I do something wrong?"

Hotch chuckled and took a seat across from him. "No, it's nothing like that. The fact is, I need to ask a favor of you."

Reid started breathing again, and visibly relaxed. "Oh! Uh, sure. What is it?"

Hotch grinned sheepishly. "Actually, I'm asking on behalf of Jack. He really enjoyed having you come to his soccer game last week, and, well-he told me this morning that he wants you to come to the one tomorrow night, too." Hotch paused, then added a disclaimer. "Don't feel obligated-I just promised Jack I'd ask."

Reid blinked. He'd never cared much for team sports, but watching a gang of little kids attempting to get a soccer ball from one side of the field to the other had been highly amusing, plus he'd gotten to try out some of his cheesy magic tricks on a few of the players' siblings on the sidelines, to their parents' eternal gratitude. Apparently, he'd left a very favorable impression on a small girl that Jack had his six-year-old eye on. He smiled.

"Well, sure, I'd be delighted to go."

"Really?" Hotch had a skeptical expression on his face. "You don't mind? Surely, you've got better things to do."

"Ah... No, not really." Reid shrugged. "To be honest, I found the whole thing very enjoyable. The physics of soccer is quite intriguing anyway, and when you apply chaos theory-"

"Chaos theory?"

"What would you call the effect of twenty-two six year olds running amok on a playing field?"

"Good point. Well, if you're sure-but, don't hesitate to back out if a better offer comes along."

_A better offer? _Not likely. Reid would never turn down an opportunity to be around Hotch while in soccer dad mode, and anyway... Reid thought of the young single mom who'd been eyeing Hotch every bit as interestedly as he had.

Hotch hadn't noticed.

Suddenly, it occurred to him-maybe he could do something about that. He had no chance with Hotch, so maybe he could figure out a way to open the unit chief's eyes to someone he _could_ care for. He sighed at the thought of Hotch with someone else, but he'd suffered alone for too long. Reid wanted him to be happy.

Sometimes, Cupid just needed a little push.

* * *

><p>The game went pretty much the same as the last one had, except Jack's team won (mostly by virtue of the fact that the other team's goalie had found a caterpillar on the side of the goal and was busy inspecting it when the ball came at her) and the players and their parents were downright jubilant as they headed back toward the parking lot.<p>

Rossi walked alongside Reid-he'd taken on assistant coach duties, and had offered Reid a ride-and as they approached his car, they noticed the pretty young mom Reid had slated for Hotch standing in front of her vehicle. The was hood up, and she was staring hopelessly at the engine.

"Problem?" Rossi asked.

"I think my battery's shot," she said woefully. "It won't start. Think you could give me a jump?"

Rossi started to say, "Of course," but Reid, recognizing an opportunity when he saw one, barreled in and squashed him. "Actually, we don't have any cables-but I know someone who does. Hotch!" Reid gestured at him and Hotch strolled over as Rossi stared at Reid in surprise.

"What's going on?" Hotch asked.

"Uh, we seem to have a damsel in distress," Reid said jokingly. "Do you have jumper cables?"

"Yes. I'll go get them-"

"Here, give me your keys, I'll get them." Reid grabbed Hotch's keys before he had a chance to respond and scampered off to get the cables, all under Rossi's disbelieving eye.

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later, the mom was on her way, Hotch and Jack had loaded their things into their car and were pulling out, and Rossi and Reid were right behind them.<p>

Once they negotiated their way out of the soccer park, Rossi turned a suspicious eye on Reid.

"What the _hell_ was all that about?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have jumper cables! Why'd you make Hotch do it?"

Reid pursed his lips together for a moment, then shrugged. "The mom is Lindsay Delaney. Her husband died in Iraq two years ago. I noticed she's very attracted to Hotch. Of course, he's been completely oblivious. I just thought... it was a good opportunity to get him to notice her."

Rossi stared at the road ahead and frowned thoughtfully. "You were playing matchmaker?"

"Well, it was a spur of the moment thing-I guess we'll see what comes of it."

Rossi curled his hands around the steering wheel and Reid could tell he was repressing a laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"Well-it's none of my business, kid, but I have to say that's very magnanimous of you-considering the looks you've been giving Hotch lately."

Reid sighed. "You've noticed."

"You're not exactly subtle."

"Yeah. Well, for me, it's hopeless, I know Hotch is straight. But, I also know he's lonely. I think he and Lindsay could be good for each other. I... I just want him to be happy."

They drove along in silence for a few minutes, then Rossi shook his head. "Okay-I've been sworn to secrecy, but I don't think Hotch counted on you being so damn... chivalrous."

"Huh?"

"Look, Reid, why do you think he's been inviting you to his son's games all of a sudden?"

"I don't know-to support Jack's team, I guess?"

"No-he's been worried about you, too. Thinks your lonely. And, he knows there are a couple of single moms that attend the games. So... he thought you might hit it off with one of them, specifically, Ms. Lindsay Delaney." Rossi chuckled.

"Oh... Wow."

"Yeah." Rossi glanced at him. "He was annoyed as hell that I 'didn't have jumper cables.' He spent the whole time he was working on her car telling her how great you were."

"God... Talk about a wasted effort."

"Yeah. So, you're really not interested, huh?"

"Not in her, no."

Rossi nodded. "I think you and Hotch need to have a serious talk."

"I-I can't. I can't tell him how I feel about him!"

By then, they were pulling up in front of Reid's apartment building. Rossi parked and turned to Reid. "I think you should."

"Why?"

"Trust me, kid, just do it. Tell him. I think things might... start to make a little more sense. For both of you."

Reid stared at Rossi, bewildered, then he gathered his things and got out of the car. He said his thanks and goodnight, and once in his place, he began mulling over Rossi's advice.

Maybe he was right. Maybe he should just lay his cards on the table.

He guessed Hotch had noticed his behavior lately and had wondered what the hell was wrong with him. _All right, _Reid thought. He'd make his confession-Hotch deserved to know the truth, especially since he was now cooking up schemes to find Reid a girlfriend.

* * *

><p>"Hotch?"<p>

"Yes?"

"Do you have a minute?"

"Of course. Come in, sit down."

Reid entered Hotch's office and closed the door behind him. He took a seat and ran a hand through his hair. "Uh... we need to talk."

"All right." Hotch sat back and regarded the young profiler uncertainly. Strange that he would be wanting to talk after what happened at the soccer game. Could he know? _Surely not. _Hotch had been very careful to hide what he felt about Reid for a long time, and he was confident the younger agent couldn't possibly have any idea. Hotch was very good at disguising his feelings-hell, even Rossi had no idea. "What is it?"

"Uh... Rossi told me you were hoping I'd hit it off with one of the ladies at Jack's soccer game."

"Oh." Hotch sighed. Okay, so _that _was all this was about, good. He wasn't anywhere near ready to deal with the other thing. "I see. Well, why did he do that? I'd asked him not to."

"We were talking on the way home the other night, and he explained things, and then he suggested that I should speak with you, but... Look, that doesn't matter. The point is, it was really nice of you to-I mean, I'm so touched that you care enough about me to want me to be happy, but-" Reid dropped his gaze and stared at his hands. Then, he looked up and met Hotch's eyes. "Hotch, I'm gay." The words came out easier than he'd ever thought possible, and he suddenly felt as if a weight had been lifted. Still, he waited anxiously as Hotch processed that information.

Hotch blinked. "You are?"

"Yeah. I've struggled to accept it for a long time. When I was younger, I just didn't want to think about it-but now, I'm okay with it, and, well... I guess it's time to come out to you and the team." He shrugged. "So, there you have it. And, as much as I've enjoyed going to Jack's games, I guess there's no point in continuing." He took a deep breath. "Because, I was mostly going so I could spend more time with you, not the ladies." He laughed sheepishly, then stood up. "Sorry." He turned to go, but Hotch stood up as well.

"Wait! Are you saying you're attracted to me?"

Reid's shoulders slumped. He nodded, then turned back to face Hotch. "Don't worry. I'll work through it-it won't affect my job or our professional relationship. I might need a little time off, though-"

"Spencer, sit down."

_Spencer...? _Reid thought. He sat.

"Spencer, I... I've been going through something similar. Regarding you." Hotch's eyes seemed to burn through Reid's soul. His mouth dropped open.

"What? You... You mean, you-"

Hotch nodded. "Yes. Ever since I lost Haley, I've been asking myself what it is I really want out of life. And, somehow-the answer always seems to involve you. I just never thought... I never thought it was a possibility."

A pensive smile crossed Reid's face. "You know, the funny thing is, I'd decided to go to the game because I thought I could figure out a way to get you and Lindsay together. She was clearly interested in you, and I thought you were just... too closed off to notice. I had hoped to be able to jump-start things between you, then she had car trouble, and, well-"

The two stared at each other for a long time. The room was completely silent. Then, all of a sudden, they simultaneously started laughing.

"So, you were trying to fix me up?" Hotch asked incredulously.

"Yeah!"

"And, I was trying to-oh, my God..."

"You weren't any more interested in her than I was!"

"No... and, I was so annoyed at Rossi for not having cables, because it would have been the perfect opportunity for you to spend some time talking with her-"

"Oh, God," Reid choked. "All this time... I thought you'd be horrified to know I had a crush on you..."

"And, I... I was so determined not to let you know-I mean, I'm your boss! I just... I didn't want to-"

"I know, I know." They wiped their eyes, both feeling a rush of relief and excitement that neither was entirely sure they understood, but it felt good.

"So, what now?" Reid asked.

"I have no idea." Hotch smiled at him. "But, I guess we'll figure it out."

"Yeah..." Reid leaned back and started laughing again. "So, who gets to tell Rossi?"

"Oh, I think we both should. I'll get him in here." Hotch buzzed Rossi's office, and a few minutes later, the man joined them.

Rossi walked in and took a seat, a quizzical look on his face. He looked from Reid to Hotch and noted their smirks. "Gentlemen? What in the world is going on?"

"Ah... Reid and I have just had a very interesting little chat. Reid says you encouraged him to speak with me, so we wanted to thank you. Because, things certainly do make a lot more sense to us now."

"What do you mean?"

Reid sardonically spoke up. "Apparently you didn't notice, Mr. Senior Profiler, but Hotch has been having feelings for me, as well."

"What!"

"Dave, I'm sorry I never said anything to you." Hotch's jocular attitude cooled down and he became serious. "After all the major life changes I've been through, I just couldn't face dealing with matters of my sexuality. But now, thanks to you, I can be honest with myself-and the one person who matters most to me, besides my son." Hotch looked at Reid and smiled. "I don't know what's going to happen now, but-I think it's going to be wonderful."

Reid smiled back at him. Rossi looked from one to the other, a comical expression of consternation on his face.

"So, does this mean I can have Lindsay?" he demanded.

Reid and Hotch abruptly turned a shocked look on him. "You're interested in Lindsay?" asked Hotch.

"Yes! Why do you think I loosened the battery cables on her car? I was going to swoop in and save her, then you two clowns got in on the act and thwarted me!"

"Oh, Dave-I'm so sorry," Hotch said, laughing. "Maybe you should give her a call."

"I intend to, now that you two lovebirds have found each other. And, for your information, Dr. Reid, I've seen the looks Aaron's been giving you. Why do you think I subtly suggested he invite you to Jack's game in the first place? Sheesh!" He threw his hands up in disgust. "For a couple of top FBI profilers-you two are really _dense."_

Rossi stood and strode out of Hotch's office, leaving Reid and Hotch to plan their first date.

_He_ had a phone call to make.


End file.
